Low Wedding Budget, Big Guest List — Help?
Low Wedding Budget, Big Guest List — Help?
I have about $ 5000 to spend towards a wedding, but would like to spend as little as possible. I could very well spend a low amount if my guest list wasn’t that big — it’s a little over 100 guests. The thing that stinks is that it is ALL extended family of mine and the groom’s (my extended family is actually the huge chunk of it, but we’re all very close) and some mutual friends. When I think about it, I think of some people who I probably would not invite who are more or less family friends of mine and who all go to my church (the groom and I were both raised in the same church, which is a small one, over all). BUT, it is those same people who are the extended family of my husband-to-be, and therefore my future extended in-laws.
The only wedding party we have is flower girls (my niece, his little sister, and a few other of my cousins’ daughters, all that age) and a ring boy (his little brother). He and I both love kids and being that we’re 20 and 21, we’re pretty young. So we like the idea of young life being at the wedding.
Just about all of our mutual friends are from our church youth group, where he and I are basically leaders.
We can’t just NOT invite anyone, because everyone on our guest list is meaningful to at least one of us and have backed us and our relationship up since before it began.
And then there’s the food. I just want to have a get together with the people I love most to celebrate my marriage to the one I love most, and there can be sandwich and chips for all I care! (Weddings to me have never been about the food.) But my mom, who is in a tight financial situation, is like “No, you need to have good food.” And I found some pretty good caterers with great prices, but everything adds up, especially with 100+ people.
We’re not having a DJ or paying tons on a wedding cake (my aunt makes *amazing* ones) and I don’t want to spend more than a few hundred for a dress. I do, however, care about having a photographer, because the pictures are one of the most important things to me. I found an amazing one at an amazing price (a whopping $ 1000, 20% of my budget!) but then that leaves me with $ 4000 for everything else on my list.
Any suggestions are very much appreciated. Thanks a bunch =)
Also, we’re planning on having the wedding this year (2011), preferably by September.
I am willing to go up to $ 6000 max for a wedding, but definitely no more.
We have considered eloping or having a court wedding, but we kinda want to have the ceremony with all those who are dearest to us.
We live in central/northern New Jersey.
I have strongly considered backyard wedding (which happens to be my church backyard).
And I never said I didn’t want to feed my guests, just have a simple luncheon with sandwiches, salad, and other little hor dourves. Really casual, rustic, outdoor, simple, good time laughing with friends of old and family and an ipod with a playlist playing music and perhaps a bonfire as well. That’s my picturesque wedding, something really young and fun for a simple couple and loads of loved ones.
(Again, something that my mum isn’t too crazy about)
source: http://answers.yahoo.com/question/?qid=20110221103337AAstjU7
have you thought about a backyard wedding? or seeing if your church will let you do it there for a low cost? you could make it a potluck reception? i don’t know – i’ve never been married, i don’t know if your fam & friends would think it’s tacky, but a backyard potluck wedding would save you a ton of $ $ and you could have the photographer, do the invitations, and have your friends help you decorate the house?
You are being rude and definitely you are NOT a good hostess. Your mom is right.
You cannot plan an event of that magnitude with your attitude ; I’m sorry but you cannot invite hundreds of people an treat them like anorexic dogs. If your attitude is “for all you care” then please spare people that you know from being hungry and berated and embarrass yourself in front of everyone that you know with your cheapskate way of thinking.
So, you are NOT having a meal or a DJ, so what are the people suppose to do: show up and drop a present and leave?
The only way to pull this off is to make it a cake and punch reception, mid afternoon and that would last 2-3 hours tops. With no entertainment and no meal, you cannot expect people to stay around for more than a couple of hours.
i have a very similar situation
the only difference is that im looking at 250+ haha
try to do as much of it yourself as possible
you said that the pics are very important to you, so shell out what you need to for those.
BUT you can cut back on other things:
-consider an online invitation and/or RSVP
-use balloons or paper/silk flowers instead of real ones
-you said the food doesnt matter to you, just to your mom, could you satisfy your budget and her wants with a cake and champagne reception? you could also have other types of deserts (cookies, pies, cupcakes, ice cream) plus IMO you can buy disposable dishware for a desert reception which is cheaper than renting the real thing
-consider having the wedding outside at a state or local park, they can be very affordable AND you can save on decorations because they are already there!
also, I suggest signing up for a wedding website like http://www.weddingwire.com/ they have a lot of sources on there to really help you out!
remember to focus on what is most important to you and your fiance, not everyone else
good luck and stay sane
I’ll try.
One of the EASIEST ways to cut cost is cutting the guest list. I know you think everyone who is on it is crucial but are they? One way you can eliminate any hurt is to make it immediate family only. Your budget would stretch a lot further.
If you are convinced your whole church should go, then let’s break it down.
You can find cheap dresses at your local dress shop. There are traditional gowns that you can find under $ 800
$ 1000 for pictures sounds reasonable.
Why not have your family cook and do the potluck styled church fellowship meals I KNOW you’ve been to. It sounds like you’d be comfortable with that. If you go the catering route stick to a simple meal to cut costs.
For decorations there are a lot of diy (do it yourself) bridal website with cute, cheap ideas.
Things like wildflowers or fake flowers will lower costs, dollar store tea lights, etc.
Lastly if the budget is NOT there hold the wedding until you can afford it. Do not allow your family to go into debt over a dress and four hours.
Have your wedding and reception at your church. Serve pasta , salad and bread. Have a fruit tray and a cheese tray if the money stretches. You can DYI all the food, just find a couple of people (maybe church members etc) to keep the food dishes full and the pasta hot. We had 100 people at our daughters wedding, and had tri tip along with pasta and sides and salads, cake, Champagne,flowers, photographer, dress, shoes, hair, MOH dress and MOB dress all for 3000.00…it can be done….and we did it in 5 months.
Good Luck
You can probably do this for 5-6k, but you need a reality check on some of these expenses. The one thing that will look bad is if you purchase all the frou frou and then can’t feed your guests appropriately. You say weddings have never been about the food for you, but when you’re considered the hostess of a reception (and the reception is to thank your guests for attending the wedding) it’s just not polite to lowball it.
There are still options, however. If you want a bare-bones midafternoon event that ends by 5 or so, you can get away with cake, punch and appetizers. But if the ceremony or reception covers dinner hour, you need to serve something more substantial. Check with the catering at places like barbeque houses, etc. You could probably put together a reception for around $ 15 per person and maybe even get family members to make some extra sides, like deviled eggs or baked beans. There will be other expenses, especially ice, plastic glasses, etc. but when you invite 100 people to a wedding, you don’t want 95 of them leaving early and hungry.
Also, just get an officiant off craigslist or yellow pages and have the officiant perform the ceremony wherever you have the reception. That way, everyone gets to see the ceremony.
are you or is someone you know a member of a wholesale club you can get food items there in bulk and no reason you can fix a lot of food yourself with that many friends maybe some of them will chip in with food prep a backyard wedding is fine and you can buy a used wedding dress cheap the possibility of a park is something you can consider also check craigslist ebay and consignment shops for dresses
I don’t really want a big wedding but I have 2 siblings with families of their own and my FH has 7 siblings with families so even without trying our guest list is over 100. We are having it in the church hall with a friend to MC and dj it for us (his wedding present to us). Food wise I’m just doing a buffet, I did look at doing it myself but when I started to price it up I can have a professional do it for not much more and I’m saving a lot of time. Our guests are all close family or very close friends so they just want to support us and I don’t think any of them would be looking down their noses because it’s not a “big posh” do. They are not the sort of people who will feel they deserve to be “rewarded” for attending, they will be there because they love us.
All that matters to us is that we are making a public commitment to each other and you sound the same so good luck for the future.
If it is what you want, and it is available to you…you should do the backyard wedding. You could decorate it beautifully…and have hor’dourve stations. Keep it simple.
If you want more…have you considered doing a smaller, more intimate wedding/reception with immediate family/close friends…and the next afternoon have a big party for everyone at a local park or picnic in the back yard? If this is an option, try looking at local retaurants…I never thought of it until I just asked…I got steak, chicken, and seafood, plus 5 hot & cold bulter passed hor’dourves and complimentary cheese and veggies stations…all for $ 45 per person! And that is the price at the LeMont on Mount Washington, in Pittsburgh, PA…the area’s best restaurant with an amazing view of the city! The whole reception cost less than $ 5k and they decorated for no additional fees!
As for the budget, do you have the option of family helping out at all? Either by adding to the budget, or having them do certain tasks (ex: anyone crafty could do the floral, centerpieces, etc.).
As for invites/crafts…get coupons for crafts stores (Michael’s, Pat Catans)…and get things up to 50% off! Print your own invites…
Check out Oriental trading…they have a lot of things for weddings that are very cheap!
Check sites like Craigslist and Kijiji for wedding left overs…
Good luck and feel free to email me for more tips!
You can cut cost by having an off-peak hour wedding and reception. Meaning the reception being served by 11 am you could do a brunch style buffet with a couple of salads (like a chicken or tuna,and one pasta), big fruit bowl, assorted veggies with dip, and cake & beverages. Or, in the afternoon after 1:00 you could do a nice variety of appetizer style dishes, cake and beverages.
If you do Noon or 5:00 and later, it’s really inexcusable not to offer a “meal”. Meaning an entree, salad, one or two sides, and cake/dessert as well as beverages.
If you want to do the meal, looking into either a barbecue style buffet works for a lot of people. Or an Italian style. Big pasta dishes, salads, and bread goes a long way.
Other big chunk of the budget goes to flowers and decor. If you’re going to do a pretty short to the point ceremony, you could get away with none/minimal floral decorations in the church. Or just a single flower with pretty ribbon on the aisle pews. Very simple flowers for you and any of the wedding party.
Don’t get sucked into a dress that’s over your budget. If you’re skimping on your reception fare, but wearing a very pricey dress, that will be noticed.
My primary suggestion would be now that you have deducted what is your number one priority (the photographer), you need to talk to a caterer and get the lowest possible figure for 100 guests, then budget for everything else after you have that taken care of. Budget around the $ 5000 figure, then you’re allowing yourself the extra $ 1000 for any unexpected costs, which will definitely pop up.
It definitely sounds like an afternoon wedding with snacks, cake & drinks (skip alcohol) is the way for you to go and you can definitely pull that off in a cost-effective way. Be sure that the wedding is over by 5pm (dinnertime) so your guests do not expect a meal.
As an aside, tell your Mom that she’s going to have to “deal” with what you can afford and that your choice is either modest food with everyone invited or eloping so you don’t have to pick n’ choose who to exclude from the guestlist.
Get sandwiches or cold cut trays with rolls on the side, cheese & veggie trays, and of course – CAKE! If you have a BJ’s or Costco membership that could help you by buying the items and putting the trays together yourself (cold cuts will easily last a day or two in the fridge). And they have large containers of macaroni & potato salad and cole slaw for a reasonable price (they’re pretty good, too, I use ‘em during the summer for BBQ’s).
What you describe is a simple back yard barbecue. Hamburgers and hot dogs are inexpensive and everyone loves them.
At least that would be a step up from chips and a sandwich.
For food, it may actually be cheaper to do a pasta dinner. It may also give it a little more formality that your mother wants. Is there someone from church that you could ask to cook? That would save on catering costs.
As for photography, do you have any local colleges in your area? You may be able to hire a photography student for little or nothing who is just as good. Many people trying to put together their first portfolios will do a wedding for free or at cost for exchange of using the pictures in their portfolio.
For music, set up your ipod with some speakers. Make sure to put a friend in charge of it so that important songs are played at the correct times (i.e. first dance).
A backyard wedding is often much more expensive than many people realize. And what are you going to do if it rains? It may be best if your church has a big enough hall to have it in there.
Are you going to have flowers or centerpieces? I would suggest simple candle centerpieces. Candles can be very inexpensive and are beautiful.
As for flowers, I chose carnations (they are my favorite and are very cheap) and had my bouquets and boutonnieres done by my local grocery store. I had my bouquet and bouquets for 5 bridesmaids, boutonnieres for my husband, 4 groomsmen, 2 fathers, a grandfather, and brother, and 4 wristlet corsages for 2 mothers and 3 grandmothers. I paid about $ 400 total. You don’t need that many flowers, so I’m sure it would cost you less. My bouquet: http://s641.photobucket.com/albums/uu138/poptartgmb/?action=view¤t=bouquet.jpg
As far as a cheap dress, here are some ideas:
http://www3.jcpenney.com/jcp/XGN.aspx?submit%20search.y=0&Ntt=wedding&SearchString=wedding&Ne=840+4+877+878+5+961+6+29+3+598+11+15+12+506+10+23+585+596+1031+8+18+904+903+969+949+833&hdnOnGo=true&submit%20search.x=0&Nao=0&N=4294959029+4294966975&So=0&PSO=0&CmCatId=searchresults&mscssid=677ab6e07b61d4bdabb81e00685808debxMnVNoV5aGWxMnVNoV5aGo200B2733ED71B5165AC7E4FE2B93F1DD15001105221&SelDim=
http://www.debshops.com/product/index.jsp?productId=10979459&cp=3371585.3365393.3369418
http://www.debshops.com/product/index.jsp?productId=10979460&cp=3371585.3365393.3369418
http://www.debshops.com/product/index.jsp?productId=11000415&cp=3371585.3365393.3369418
http://www.davidsbridal.com/Browse_Outlet-Outlet-Bridal-Gowns__pageSize-all_lh
Also consider a white prom dress, as prom dresses are much cheaper and just as formal.
I did print my own invitations purchased on sale from Staples.com, only to find out after my wedding that it would’ve been cheaper (and less stressful) to order them from this website: http://www.123print.com/Wedding-Invitations#
To say you are “simple, casual” couple is no excuse to not properly feed guests. You make it sound like because YOU dont care about the food, its ok to not treat your guests.
Believe it or not, the reception is not ALL about you and what you want. The reception is a place where you can thank your guests for supporting you: both by providing a fun party for them to enjoy, and by speaking to them and thanking them.
If your answer to this is, “Our guests arent fancy people either” that is just another excuse. Blah blah…
With a 5k budget, you can afford a lot more than chips and sandwiches! You can hire a catering company to put on a barbeque, you can have a cake & champagne reception with shrimp and mini quiches… You should provide the best you can for your guests, within your budget. Dont serve chips and salsa, no one wants to dip in the communal bowl and see salsa all over the table. This is wedding, listen to your mother and kick it up a notch.
Hi and congratulations!
You summed up everything perfectly in your very last paragraph under “additional details.”
You CAN have what you want at your budget level if you do things simply (as you want) and possibly utilize your church and the facilities of your church. Does your church have a fellowship hall? Most do. (I’m a church secretary). I would definitely take advantage of that. By doing so, you can most definitely have the type of wedding you want within your budget even with 100 guests.
I would definitely go with the food choices you mentioned: sandwiches, salads, etc. The thing you will need to be firm on is the issue with your mother. I am not trying to be mean, but if your mother is not paying, then she really has no say in what is “proper food” Many on this site are having simple weddings like yours. There is absolutely NO reason to think that you need to serve your guests a plated 5-course meal. As long as you are serving food, acknowledging your guests, and treating your guests kindly….that’s all that matters.
Yes, it can be done with your budget. The thing to do is to write down everything you need to spend money on: dress, shoes, groom’s tux, food, beverages, plates?, napkins?, silverware?, photographer, etc. and allot the money accordingly. I DO agree about the photographer. That is one area where I would not scrimp. You can buy low cost gowns at places like David’s Bridal and other online sites. Or even your local bridal store! Same with your invitations. Go to Walmart, Target, Michael’s, Hobby Lobby, Office Max. You can purchase nice “kits” with 50 in each box (including envelopes and RSVP cards) all for about $ 25-$ 30. Very inexpensive. All you need to do is to take some time and format them on your computer and print them off. A real cost savings. Another “big ticket” item is the cake, but you have that covered so that is a huge savings.
Again, write everything down. Don’t forget to include the price of the marriage license (about $ 30-$ 50) and also the price for your pastor (about $ 150 where I live). Some times couples forget these little “hidden costs.”