What’s wrong with using Mrs. or wearing rings to adverise one’s marital status?
What’s wrong with using Mrs. or wearing rings to adverise one’s marital status?
Most married women wear a ring, which gives shows it anyway. Why not use Mrs.?
I will expect my future wife to take my last name (no hyphenated) and prefer that she use Mrs.
As my part of the bargain, I will agree to wear a wedding band, advertising my status as well.
(Professor) – my future wife and I will agree on such matters prior to taking the relationship very far. People who make an issue out of keeping ‘their own identify’ tend to end up with totally separate identities after their marriage fails from lack of commitment.
(Eleanor B) – The wearing of a wedding ring advertises to a far wider audience of total strangers one’s marital status, as compared to the use of Mrs.
How many strangers at the mall or on the street have observed a married woman’s ring as compared to the number of strangers who have seen her name in writing with the prefixed title “Mrs.”?
Therefore, in my opinion, it is not logical to refuse to use Mrs. but be willing to wear a wedding ring.
source: http://answers.yahoo.com/question/?qid=20080423085922AAPzt6L
I dont see anything wrong with it.
I am a Mrs. by choice. I dont feel its an advertisement as much as a show of commitment to my husband. I think its just a personal choice. I hope you find a woman who feels the same as you do.
I see no problems whatsoever with advertising one’s marital status.
It should be a mark of pride to be in a happy marriage, I would think.
Nothing wrong with it. I think its totally fine!
There is nothing wrong with that. If you get married it is because you love the person. The ring is a symbol of your devotion and lets the world know ” I am married and happy about it”. Only people who are not happy don’t wear the ring or go by Mrs.
And if your future wife says she prefers to have her own identity apart from you. I have no intention of ever changing my name – did not do it the first time and never will.
EDIT: I dont’ think a marriage of 26.5 years would indicate I had a lack of commitment. What does a name have to do with commitment?
My entire work history in under my name, so are various publications, degrees, etc. These are me. The title I use is Dr. Our childrens school never had a problem – they had a number of dual career couples that used different names. Of course having our children in a progressive private school with a megabucks tuition might have made them more conscious of our name preferences.
there’s nothing wrong with it the only reason someone wouldn’t want to advertise it would be if they didn’t want n-e one or a certain person to know.
lots of luv,
layia
there is nothing wrong with Mrs. or wearing a ring. it is a very old tradition and it shows that you have grown up!
my father was so angry when i took my husbands name but i felt it was the right thing to do.
Why is this “theme of the day”? Lolz… So many questions on the whole “Mrs/Miss/Ms” thing…
If I were ever to get married, I would change my name and take Mrs. Unless, out of vanity…his surname was really awful or incompatible sounding with my first name.
Personally I think it’s sad if you are hiding the fact that you are married or single, seems like you are ashamed of it, and you shouldn’t be.
I wear a ring, but I use Ms. I am a private person, and I don’t like the idea of someone knowing my marital status simply by reading my name.
Some women like to make their marital status public, and some don’t. I’d wear a ring, but I’d still call myself Ms. I don’t think women need three honorifics. One is good enough for men.
There is nothing wrong with using whatever we wanna use.
I am no longer married, so I use Ms.
I also think that as long as your future wife takes your last name, it shouldn’t matter what form of Ms. or Mrs. she decides to use. She took your name for crying out loud!
I’ve always worn a ring on my wedding finger as it happens to be the longest, thinnest on that hand so rings look good on it, if it changes to a wedding ring, that’s fine. I wouldn’t take my husband’s name as I feel that my name is who I am and I was born that way, so I’d like to continue my life that way. As said, I already call myself Mrs. You’re right that I wouldn’t want to ‘display’ my marital status, but that’s because I already use all the things associated with that status, so it wouldn’t require changing anything. I’m not against being proud of a happy marriage, but why it needs to be a statement to the outside world of your changed worth or status, I don’t know, shouldn’t it just be about the feelings that the two of you have?
Edit – Salamand – actually, I have been mistakenly called Mrs many more times than I have been asked if I am engaged. Once you get to a certain age, people who don’t know and just see your name will simply assume and call me Mrs B. This is why I think it’s become more about growing up than actually being married
You are so kind. So you wear a wedding ring. Whilst she wears a wedding ring, changes her second name, and changes her title… Not exactly equal, which is part of MY more fair and equal bargain. I would gladly call myself a Mrs unless I was a doctor of course, and I would also gladly wear a wedding ring so long as my husband did too, but I refuse to change my second name just because he wasn’t secure in his masculinity. I would have a hyphenated name of course, so long as my husband hyphenated his own name too:) Equality is nice, no?
Truly, I don’t get the big problem with wearing a wedding ring and taking on my husband’s name, along with the ‘Mrs.’ tag. If I were still in business, I think I might still use my maiden name for business purposes, as I had established myself as that name, and it would be beneficial to maintain it. But for all other purposes, I would be his wife, with his name.
I am no one’s property – and I know that. Taking someone else’s name or wearing their ring doesn’t mean that I am now property. I think that, often, big deals are made out of nothing. And it hardly constitutes an equality discussion! Traditions may be antiquated…but they are not meant to offend. And quite frankly, I kinda like those traditions – and they don’t make me question who I am…because I am secure in that no matter what!
There’s nothing wrong with it, it depends on personal preference.
Personally, I will hyphenate my name. Business-wise, it makes no sense for me to change my name too drastically.
I prefer to do none of the above…be “Mrs,” change my name or wear wedding jewelry. My preference. To each her own.
For whom?
If a woman who’s marrying decides to give up her last name and take her husband’s, use Mrs. instead of Ms., and wear a ring (my impression is just about everyone does that last), that’s her right.
But then, there’s nothing wrong with keeping one’s last name (NOTHING would convince me to change my last name) or prefer Ms.
So, you would not consider marrying any woman who wanted to be Ms. Birth-Last-Name. OK. That’s cut way down on the number of eligible women for you, but whatever floats your boat. DO make sure you’re are explicit about this: That you will not marry, or will immediately annull the marriage, or divorce, if she keeps her own name, before you set the date.
Changing one’s name is a huge deal; it’s a big jolt to suddenly be addressed by a name that has never been yours. Just pointing this out. It’s not trivial.
And grown-up women who have, say, papers published under their birth names, are often reluctant to change.
If there are people who think they should dictate this decision to others, well, they’re nuts. MY name isn’t YOUR business; just as your future wife’s is none of mine.
What I don’t understand is the broad use of Mrs. for a woman of unknown status (or who isn’t wearning a ring). I’m addressed as Mrs. ALL the freakin’ time, and I am not a Mrs., I am a Ms.
When someone who has no way of knowing your marital status addresses you — why not use the one that’s at least accurate 100% of the time; then, if she cares enough, she’ll tell you which of the others to use instead.
But no, they use one that’s just wrong.
You’ve got me wondering, though, how many women of whatever generation you are, would find your requirement a deal-breaker.
It’s not just the name-change itself, but your feeling that it’s rightly YOUR decision, not hers. After all, if you feel strongly about having the same name, you could change YOURS.
Your thinking about this wrong. Wearing a wedding band or changing your name has NOTHING to do with marriage or love or committment just like trying to force your beliefs onto the person you want to spend your life with also has NOTHING to do with it.
Custom says you exchange rings as an outward expression of your love. Does it mean you love her more if you buy her a $ 1M diamond? Is the woman being slighted if you can only afford sterling silver? Is your love over if the ring becomes lost? The answer is no, which means the ring means nothing. Your love on the inside for another person is what should be considered and the ring mean NOTHING.
Custom also says the woman should take the man’s name, but it is by no means a requirement. The woman does not lose herself in the deal. She does not become the man’s property. If she wishes to change her name OK, but if she is forced then she is not loved and will not be happy. No woman should ever be forced into doing anything. She should freely WANT to do it, and if she does not want to freely do something, the man should ACCEPT IT and love her anyways.
It sounds like you dont want an equal partner. It sounds like you think you are the KING and you want someone to bow down to you. Unfortunately you will find it because too many women have low self esteem. But, you will not find true happiness.
Keeping my name would not have meant keeping myself separate from my husband. I just don’t like Mrs. It makes me feel too old and like I am not supposed to like video games and the other activities I enjoy with my friends (no offense to those who do like Mrs.). It isn’t about advertising my marital status or not, it’s about what I like to be called. My hubby and I don’t use his last name to refer to ourselves as a couple most of the time anyway. We have a fun mash-up of our names for that. We use our actual last name for official things though.
I have no problem with that at all
I think the reason why women choose hyphenated names is, not because they don’t want to take her husband’s name, but because they don’t want to LOSE their identity and THEIR OWN family name. I’m sure you won’t have this dilemma though as there are plenty of women who are willing to change their name.
Nuttin at all. It’s only the few radical feminists that have a problem with it. It’s fine since no man in his right mind would propose to a radical feminist anyway.
I am married and have been so for more than 25 years but I really would prefer not to go out of my way to advertise it. I don’t wear my wedding ring but that’s not because of my feelings but the fact that I genuinely don’t like to wear rings. If I wear my ring, I’ll keep taking it off or switching fingers and I’m afraid I’ll lose it that way.